jsmn_kinkmeme | ☆ Round Two!

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kinkmeme

☆ Round Two!

Welcome to the second round of the Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell Kink Meme at

jsmn_kinkmeme!

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☆ Previous Rounds: Round One

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So ever since that amazing moment where Segundus holds out that (delicious looking) spoonful of blancmange for Lady Pole, I've wanted fic about it.

First of all, I don't care how it happens, but I want Segundus trying to make it for her (perhaps she requests that it is he who makes it and not the cook, if there is one, or he just wants to give it a try) and failing MISERABLY. Give me Segundus getting frustrated in his endearing way that he's made a bowl of lumpy cement that doesn't even resemble blancmange.

So once the kitchen mishaps have happened (with perhaps the cook constantly trying to intervene or giggling in the corner) and he successfully makes a blancmange, Lady Pole DOESN'T WANT TO EAT IT! Give me Segundus trying to convince her to eat it (perhaps guilt-tripping her by telling her all about how hard it was to make), maybe having a spoonful himself and telling her how lovely it is, etc. Basically -- please eat this Lady Pole, do you know how LONG it took me to make this!!

If this gets shippy I'll be over the actual moon because this pairing gives me life (and feeding is one of my biggest kinks), but I'd be so so happy with gen too :)

You are after my own heart because I find that blancmange TOTALLY HILARIOUS. I know it's undoubtedly excellent "invalid food" and very delicate and suitable for the tastes of ladies, but IT'S SO FUNNY. He's so distressed that she won't eat the blancmange!

I also like to imagine that she asked for more and more difficult foodstuffs to be prepared, each time claiming that this was what she absolutely wanted, something in the manner of the mother from Thumbelina (picture Segundus sneaking into the walled gardens of Yorkshire in search of various vegetables that she has demanded) and each time mysteriously changing her desire at the last minute. Segundus, of course, falls for it every time.

Hahaha, his face makes me giggle like a loon in that scene. And oh goodness, poor helpful gullible Segundus fetching her ridiculous demands only to have her turn her nose up at them. I'd be very happy to read this too. Anything with Segundus cooking for Lady Pole and trying to feed her. ANYTHING! - op x

this is (i'm not exaggerating) the most hilarious and entertaining prompt I've seen on the kinkmeme so far and I am absolutely in love with it, honestly, reading it had me in stitches

OP is joyous that it made you giggle.

This is glorious, how did I miss it?

Emma Pole had an audience.
It was a small one, admittedly, but a an audience nonetheless, that was interested in her quickly cooling lunch.
Presently, Mr Segundus and Mr Honeyfoot were on either side of her chair, both frowning in concern at her untouched soup and back at her as she slumped into her chair.
"You must eat," said Mr Segundus.
"Why must I?" asked Lady Pole. She had been assured by Norrell that she had a very long life ahead of her exactly as she was. Whatever magic stole her away each night would certainly keep her alive if she did not eat.
"You are very thin, Lady Pole," said Mr Honeyfoot in his fatherly way.
"It doesn't matter how thin I am, or how my clothes fit. I go nowhere that matters."
Mr Segundus and Mr Honeyfoot exchanged glances and though neither could see it, Lady Pole thought their scrunched brows very similar.
"It hurts us to see you so disheartened, Lady Pole," said Mr Segundus.
"I am very sorry that you are hurt," she said a bit sharply. It was pleasurable at the time to vent some of her anger, but the hurt look on Mr Segundus' face took away any relief she gained from the moment
"I am sorry," Lady Pole mumbled to her hands. She felt even worse at the soft smile she was given in return for her vexation.
"No, you must not be sorry," said Mr Segundus. "We are full of understanding of your predicament."
They were not, but Lady Pole could say nothing that would help them to the understanding they desired.
"Is there nothing you will eat?" asked Mr Honeyfoot. "If it is possible and good for you, you only must say and we will comply."
Emma Pole sighed to herself. There was nothing, but she felt she must say nothing to ease their nerves.
"I would like a blancmange," she said, without real feeling.
On either side of her, two faces brightened.
"Of course!" said Mr Segundus.
"Yes, by all means!" said Mr Honeyfoot.
She looked back and forth between the two men, who rose to their feet nodding happily at one another. They were relieved that she had made some request, taken some interest in the things that happened around her. It was as close to a comfort as she had.
The men begged her wait with assurances that her blancmange would arrive shortly.
In the kitchen, the men consulted their one book on cookery with their scholarly heads bent over the text.

"It is not so different from magic," said Mr Segundus cheerfully. "The book says it is simple!"
"Are you sure?"
"I must be," said Mr Segundus. "It all she wants."
Together, they gathered the necessary ingredients and piled them on the working table in the kitchen.
"Someone should go sit with Lady Pole," observed Mr Honeyfoot. "She has been alone for some time now and I do not like to think of it."
Mr Segundus agreed and it was decided that it would be he that cooked while Mr Honeyfoot read to Lady Pole.
John Segundus found that to begin a blancmange was easy enough and he was thrilled as he mixed the first of the ingredients, thinking that he might bring some joy to poor Lady Pole. He imagined a smile coming across face as she ate and he smiled to himself. This was not the career he had imagined, but he thought that in the end, he was not doing poorly at all with it. He hummed at the mixture in the bowl.
However, things quickly began to go awry as he attempted to mix, as instructed, cold milk into a warm mixture while whisking.
He did not know what happened, but he was presented with a cascade of milk bubbles over his pot, a small burn to one of his fingers, and an unusable mixture.
He proceeded to start over, now feeling a bit more frustrated, but undeterred.
And then he burned the milk as he lost himself in study of the recipe as he attempted to discern what had gone wrong the first time.
It was necessary to scrub the pot after this misadventure and at this point, Mr Segundus admitted that he was feeling a bit over-warm and tired he but did become disheartened.
Mr Honeyfoot peeked into the kitchen as he was beginning the third attempt.
"Are you nearly finished?" he asked. Mr Segundus was shaking his head at the pan as he dried it with a towel.
"Oh Mr Honeyfoot, I have not begun! Please tell Lady Pole I will work as fast as I can."
Mr Segundus was much more careful this time and quite happily watched the stove as his work cooked At what should have been the proper time, he pulled the pan off of the heat, only to presented with a very unappealing sort of mass in the pan.
He set to work to discover the error, only to find that he had, in his hasty third attempted, made the very simple error mixing up the salt and the sugar and said some words he normally did not say.
The afternoon was quickly darkening outside. Mr Segundus looked at the very messy kitchen and the ruined blancmange with great distress. He pushed his hair back from his forehead, which was now a bit sweaty, accidentally distributing the cornstarch from his hands to his hair.
There was nothing to do but to begin again.
For the fourth time, he mixed and whisked and warmed and cooked and as he stood in front of the stove, John Segundus even prayed at bit.
Whether it was Mr Segundus' hard work, or some other intervention, he was rewarded with a perfect blancmange and he beamed.
There was some to wait after for the thing to cool, which he spent cleaning, yet again. Mr Segundus was thoroughly spent. His hair hung in front of his eyes and noticed the cornstarch now. His clothes were wet and his feet ached. However, each time he spied the cooling blancmange, his heart lifted and he soon began to sing to himself as he worked.
It was with joy that he finally presented his blancmange to Lady Pole in the early evening.
"Oh look, Lady Pole!" said Mr Honeyfoot when his friend entered the room. "Look at what Mr Segundus has done! Very good, Mr Segundus, very good!"
Mr Segundus smiled at Mr Honeyfoot, who always had a way of making him feel very happy about his successes, not matter how small.
"Lady Pole?" asked Mr Segundus.
She lifted her eyes to him and said nothing. Mr Segundus' eagerness refused to dissolve under her initial disinterest.
"Is it as you wished?"
"It is fine, Mr Segundus."
John Segundus sighed softly to himself, but then quickly resumed his smile toward Lady Pole. He leaned down next to her chair and took a spoon of the blancmange and lifted it.
"Will you try it now?"
She stared at the spoon and Mr Segundus inched it a bit closer to her.
"I am not hungry after all," said Emma Pole.
Mt Segundus' entire body slouched a bit in disappointment.
"But Lady Pole. It is all you wanted..."
"I am sorry, Mr Segundus. I have no stomach for food." She turned her face away from the spoon.
"Maybe I did not do it right," muttered Mr Segundus to himself. He took the spoonful of blancmange he was going to offer to Lady Pole to and ate it himself. It was, he was relieved to find, delicious. This lifted his spirits slightly.
"It is perfect!"
"Oh, may I try?" asked Mr Honeyfoot, who had some experience with young women and their sometimes finicky eating habits.
Mr Segundus passed the plate to his friend.. Mr Honeyfoot took a bite and declared it well done, giving a hopeful look to Lady Pole. He was not met with a response, so gave the foot back to Mr Segundus, who again knelt by Lady Pole's chair.
"Please, Lady Pole."
He lifted the spoon again and once more, Lady Pole turned her face.
"I am not sure if you are aware, Lady Pole, but...I have worked very hard on this! To have you not even take one bite is very disappointing."
In response, Lady Pole moved her head even farther from the spoon.
Mr Segundus sighed.
"Do not worry," he said. He gave the young lady's hand a gentle pat. "I understand. Perhaps tomorrow you will feel better."
"Yes, tomorrow!" said Mr Honeyfoot. "In any case, Mr Segundus, we now have a wonderful blancmange for later."
"I suppose," said Mr Segundus, looking down a bit warily at the plate in his hand. "that we do."

Not the OP, but I liked this. It's lovely to see Segundus and Honeyfoot being domestic together, but poor them, with their eager efforts going unrewarded, after all that work!

By the way, I thought it was an interesting idea, that because of the deal Norrell struck, Lady Pole thinks that she will survive even if she starves herself, that she is basically invincible. It's almost a shame that that idea wasn't explored in the book, because it's a good point.

A!A here. thank you a ton for reading! I don't know where that idea came from, but when I wrote I was like "yeeaaaaaah that makes sense! I like it! I'll keep it!"
Susanna has certainly given us a lot to work with!

(OP)

I never expected to get a fill on this one - what a lovely surprise!

Oh hi! I hope it was at least a bit like you were looking for. It was fun to fill!

Aaah, my favourite prompt got a fill! Thank you,that was beautiful (and hilarious)!

Ah gee thank you! I hope to put on AO3 soon.

Hello! Soon to be no longer A!A here. I have decided to post this work to AO3, so I am providing the link, which is what I think should be done.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5193590

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☆ Round Two!

Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery (FILL 1/2)

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery (FILL 2/2)

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery (FILL 2/2)

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery (FILL 2/2)

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery (FILL 2/2)

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery (FILL 2/2)

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery (FILL 2/2)

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery (FILL 2/2)

Re: Segundus/Lady Pole - blancmange/cookery (A!A: link to AO3)