☆ Round One!

[jsmn_kink]

Welcome to the first round of the Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell Kink Meme at jsmn_kinkmeme!

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FILL 1/? |I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down|

[(Anonymous)]

Taking some many liberties here, and not exactly writing well, but as you know, this is crack!fic. Part one of multiple as long as I can gather up the energy.

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"Well, that is, what I'd like to know is, why haven't we?"

"Why haven't we what, Mr. Segundus? Your roundabout way of speaking is damned difficult to understand."

"Why haven't we cloned these dinosaurs?"

All around him short bursts of sputtering, unstiffled laughter arose in waves across the table, chairs creaking, large bellies trembling, the noise gradually growing louder and louder until he nearly stood to flee the room. The faces nearest to him grew red. Mr. Honeyfoot alone gave him a sympathetic gaze, patting him heavily on the shoulder as if they were already friends.

"Because that would upset the balance of nature, and more importantly, the will of God."

»*«

"Mi donas junkorpon al ci," Norrell enunciated with a strong hint of fear, the extinguisher for candles pressing deeply into the fleshy, slick pads of his palm. The thin flash of gold was just visible in-between the spread of his fingers as he glanced downwards, to the side, towards the bed — anywhither but whither that unfeeling, unnatural creature stood. "Oni legas ke cia speco ĝuas ho-homojn pleje -- ĉi tiu freŝas."

The raptor king looked at him, unblinkingly, claws thick and smooth in the half-light of the room. Its lower body was hidden in the shadow behind the bookcase, but the methodic sweep of its tail against the floorboards instilled a cold panic in him, a peculiar morse code that answered all of his initial questions.

It seemed to understand human speech, even if only the simplest. Just as the book had said.

Then came the sudden scrape of its foot against the floor and he, trembling violently, nearly lost the extinguisher to the ground, but managed to regain hold of it with his other hand, the tinkling of the metal cap hitting against its own thin bar too shrill. His underarms were wet. The king inclined its head towards the corpse of the girl laying, bare, on the white bedsheets of Sir Walter's guestroom, and Norrell nodded before realizing that its knowledge of language was perhaps restricted to only that which came from the mouth.

"Jes, prave, kaj pliaj atendas. Mi nur petas ke ci... ci..."

»*«

"This park is perfectly safe," Norrell assured them again, clutching the sombre fabric of his trousers at his sides while Segundus walked slowly from place to place, peering into empty glass exhibits and examining the rows upon rows of dinosaur photos set along the far wall with a budding glee. All of them were too blurry to be recognizable, but he carefully picked up one after the other, fingers at the edges of the paper for brief moments before setting them down again and moving onto the next.

Strange began examining the remains of a hatched egg in the middle of the room, as if the pattern of its shell might convey some small meaning, while Childermass silently tracked Segundus' movements from his place in the far corner by the bookshelf.

"The carriages are mechanic, you see, there's no horses. They're entirely automated, and heavily protected with..." suddenly Norrell paused, furrowing his brow, realizing that to give away his secrets would be akin to giving away his life. "Anyhow they're very safe, very very safe. There's only herbivores out there."

"And we're to ride in them now?" Mr. Honeyfoot asked, misjudging the distance between them in a way that caused Segundus to wince. He picked up one of the photographs that had just be returned to its place, and Norrell closed his eyes in order to banish the potential sight of accidental fingerprints gathering on his precious, glossy specimins.

He sighed out a response.

"Yes, please. The sooner the park is tested to your satisfaction, the better. My man of business is coming with as your guide."

Childermass immediately pushed himself away from the wall, shoes oddly quiet against the polished floor. Strange, however, looked directly into Norrell's eyes and asked, why not you, sir?

"Because I'm very busy!"

And that was that.

»*«

"Mr. Honeyfoot and Mr. Strange may travel together, whereas I will have the pleasure of Mr. Segundus' company." Childermass said in his gruff, polite voice, drawing up his hair behind him to twist it into a knot. Strange had already found his way into the seat of the first car, fingers tapping along the dark metal of the dashboard.

Segundus appeared slightly troubled by the words, turning as if to protest, but Honeyfoot simply waved to him cheerily before clambering into his own side of the vehicle, walking-stick tapping against the threshold. He slipped a hand into his jacket pocket, touching for a moment the piece of paper that lay enclosed there, but Childermass' sudden touch at his elbow almost startled him.

"Come now, Mr. Segundus." Childermass spoke firmly, walking to open the carriage door for his guest. There seemed to be smudges of ink on his fingers, but upon glimpsing the edge of the shirt-cuff — hidden inside the dark of his coatsleeve — the grease-stains that Segundus had half-expected to find proved non-existant.

"Thank you," he said, wondering for a moment if that was now the touch of the servant's hand upon his back.

Before settling himself, Childermass paused in front of the open door and waved one arm in a large arc towards a pale face in one of the upper-storey windows of the mansion. He swiftly moved himself inside, though instead of walking round the vehicle as to be expected, entered from the same place as Mr. Segundus himself, causing his guest to side one seat over on the fabric upholstery. After a few moments the carriages began to shake, the hum of the engines growing louder and louder before jolting to a slow, hesitant roll along the tracks ahead of them.

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A/N: Yep I forgot what those candle-things are called. OP, hope you are enjoying tonight's blood moon, stop me now if you don't want any hints of Segundus being gay.

Norrell's speech translates to: "I've a young body for you," "One reads that your kind enjoys h-humans the most -- this one is fresh." "Yes, correct, and more await. I only ask that you... you..."

Re: FILL 1/? |I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down|

[(Anonymous)]

This is so awesome! Please, please write more!

Writer!Anon here

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks! I've brewed up ideas for more, but I just had a surgery so I'm not sure how fast I'll get back to writing.