jsmn_kinkmeme | ☆ Round One!

Welcome to the first round of the Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell Kink Meme at

jsmn_kinkmeme!

Below are some basic guidelines to get started. Please make sure you also check out our complete Rules & Guidelines to minimise any confusion.

Guidelines:
■ Anonymously comment with your request – a character/pairing/nthsome, and a kink or prompt.
■ Only one prompt per post.
■ Fillers please link your fills in the Fills Post!
■ Have fun! :)

Keep in mind:
■ Any kinks welcomed!
■ The fill/request does not need to be sexual or porny.
■ Multiple fills are allowed.
■ Fills can be any sort of creative work: fic, art, song, photomanip, etc.
■ Beware of spoilers! Prompters and requesters are encouraged to warn for spoilers, but this rule is not enforced.
■ Warning for non-con, dub-con, abuse, slurs/language, and other potentially disturbing subjects is encouraged but be aware we do not enforce this.

Links:
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☆ Mod Post
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Lord Wellington eyed the plate before him with a good deal of suspicion. He had most specifically told his servant to bring Spanish cheese, but he had the greatest skepticism as to this cheese's provenance. He tasted a crumb of it with an expression of distrust. The cheese did not clearly lay forth its origins.

The Duke wondered if it were within the power of a magician to determine whence a cheese had come. He had had Merlin around here only a moment ago, hadn't he? Wherever had he mislaid the man?

He looked about. Then he perceived, from a distance of no more than the next tent over, a very great number of noises that, in their general gasping, almost-pained wetness, and their strong suggestion of flesh on flesh, communicated that Merlin and Grant— and was that Colonel De Lancey he could hear?— were engaging in some sort of very deviant carnal intercourse. The Duke could not really approve of such matters; but then, the magician was very eccentric. It was best to indulge him so far as one could, while keeping, as it were, a very stern hand. After all, one could never quite say which incomprehensible and startling actions might be part of some magic. True— the energetic buggery that seemed to be occurring did not appear to have any magical aspect, but was Lord Wellington a magician? No, he was not, sir! He believed very strongly in leaving all magical affairs to the magician!

Sighing, he resigned himself to an inferior supper, and cursed the incompetence not only of servants, but of every man who was not himself, the Duke of Wellington. He stacked the cheese and the roast beef into a passable sandwich and, as the carnal noises rose to an unmistakable crescendo, he lifted his glass of wine.

"To England," he said.

You. Are. A. Genius.

Bless you. Bless your soul.

To England indeed.

I laughed so hard that spited tea at my laptop.
That was hilarious!
Now I absolutely need to go to kitchen and make a sandwich

OP here typing this from the afterlife because you have slayed me. I am dead. Thank you.

sandwich!anon really wants lord wellington to make the other type of sandwich, and may write that as well eventually if no one else does.

OP here: No pressure or anything but if you wrote a fill for this I would be the happiest person in the universe!!

Well this is apparently all I've ever wanted from life

For some reason I can only see the Lord Wellington in this mini-fill as the Stephen Fry Wellington from Blackadder. Mostly due to the No, he was not, sir! towards the end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsLSLMIX3P0

This is by no means a bad thing.

this is exquisite

literally crying with laughter - thank you author!anon.

Somehow I have only just seen this (despite reading "the other type of sandwich" fill).

Now I know that I will never be able to eat my regular workday lunch (cheese sandwich) without thinking of Napoleonic-era buggery.

:)

Omg anon this cracked me up.

☆ Round One!

Re: Lord Wellington makes a sandwich

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