jsmn_kinkmeme | ☆ Discussion Post

I really do see your point anon, it is a very good one and I can completely see where you're coming from (it's quite eye-opening in a way.)

Personally I am honestly pleased that this prompter has found somewhere to engage in the fandom. However, taking your point on board (that this is a prompt meme, so why would we get upset over prompts?) their prompts don't really follow the guidelines so come across like spamming/trolling. We don't want the prompter's enthusiasm criticized, just that their prompts seem more like.. prompts! and less like spam.

This is from the guidelines:
"Different ideas can call for different levels of detail, but try to put yourself in a potential filler's shoes when posting your prompt. Consider if your idea might be too long and restrictive for anyone to satisfy properly, or if it might be too short and vague for anyone to draw proper inspiration from it."

Five, ten, fifteen prompts in a row that read something like

TITLE: character/character
BODY: ANYTHING!

are not helpful at all to potential fillers. When in such a huge number, these short prompts may end up upsetting those who put a lot of thought into their prompt idea.

I may be mistaken, but I think that's the general thought above. The prompter is just prompting prompting prompting seemingly without care. Yes of course, scrolling past is certainly a reasonable expectation, but when scrolling past resulted in.. just more and more of these prompts, it became a little frustrating and resulted in venting. The meme is such a lovely friendly place, I hope that seeing this conversation so early in your time here (welcome, by the way) will not put you off getting involved.

The prompter in question seems to have lost steam now and the meme mod has recently announced they will be reminding users of the no spamming rule within the next prompt post, so hopefully all this will be resolved. I apologise for writing you an essay!

Yeah, anon, thanks for elaborating and for the welcome. Have a long comment back:

Lots of prompts don't bother me. I don't see it as spam. Especially with rarepairs, that's what people usually do, give a shoutout to a pairing and leave it as open as possible. Duh. Like, ANYTHING! is as good a prompt as any if you just wanna see a character. The meme is to get ideas out there, no prompt-shaming. No harm done, no reason to be upset or precious.

What REALLY bothers me, anon, is the attitude I see here in response to some prompts. Uncomfortably reminds me of some assumptions I see IRL about neurodivergent behavior and disability. What can seem weird may be the ONLY way someone feels comfortable expressing themselves, and this may be a really big deal to them, and here people literally just got up in arms over a bunch of prompt ideas tossed out there. This is a HUGE DNW for me. I go to happy safe space, I remember it's not just for me. If this meme is gonna normalize "this is the only way you're allowed to squee" attitude, THAT'S what's gonna make me back out. I can calmly scroll through prompts that don't do it for me, but it's upsetting and gross to see a bunch of anons get kinda bashed for no good reason. 'Cause just being annoyed over something is no good reason. Say it gently or say nothing.

YMMV, but prompts are NOT a competition. Prompters gonna prompt, and being grumpy about supposed lack of care and some gold star prompt standard that's gotta be priority never got a meme going, in my experience. Gotta be open, 'cause all people on the meme deserve space. Fills and popular prompts don't mean privilege to dictate stuff.

Not the anon you replied to, but I don't think it's helpful or wise to conflate kinkmemers who are unhappy with the serial prompter with people who discriminate against the disabled.

I also don't see anyone shaming the serial prompter on the kinkmeme itself and I follow on flat view, so I'm not sure where you're seeing this? I don't have a problem with people wanting to let off steam here, in the discussion post, away from the main prompt post. If they were doing so in the main prompt post, then that is another matter entirely, and one for the mod.

Hello there, anon. To clarify: I have a condition, and I can recognize the kind of mental headspace the serial prompter could be in rn. Same with the not-so-anon with Asperger. That situation got resolved, but again, coulda been nicer.

So, I can empathize, and I know letting feels go like the multi-prompter can mean legit sad stuff. I recognize the pattern. I also know that getting silenced can give a really bad trip. And people just went and said that the multi-prompter was annoying and unwelcome unless they wrote like fifty fills or something. Which, BTW: this is a meme, not an exchange. No tit-for-tat.

QUESTION: If there's even 1% chance the prompter is in a bad place and using the meme as a support network, is it WORTH it to get mean and explicit over it? ANSWER: NO, it isn't. Before judging and talking about meme etiquette, gotta think if you're being unkind. I saw people here putting their prompt visibility over actual living people. That's no good.

This stuff got old ages ago IRL, but STILL feels hella personal when I see people with what looks like familiar troubles get snubbed in a happy space. :( THAT'S unhelpful. THAT's unkind. THAT's unnecessary.

You don't have to be like me to notice stuff, you just have to stop and think for two seconds. Others ALSO have feelings, and maybe even ISSUES, which deserve as much consideration as yours. BE KINDER. Just because. ALWAYS better to be more open and welcoming, people.

I'm gonna end the talk here, and go back to lurking on the meme. Hope if someone reads this, they gonna think twice about positivity, so prompters and lurkers like me don't feel like they shouldn't even speak up.

Can you point me in the direction of the comments where someone has been deliberately unkind to the serial prompter on the kinkmeme? I'm not being facetious, I just honestly don't understand which comments you are referring to. I haven't seen any on the prompt post. I follow on flatview so I think I would have noticed this if it had occurred.

As for the rest of your lecture: you make a lot of assumptions, both about me and about others who post here. I'm not going to recount my entire life story to you but I will say that having a disability does not give you a get out of jail free card, it does not entitle you to be immune from criticism and comparing the workings of a kink meme to the discrimination that disabled people experience in everyday life is deeply offensive.

Yes the world could do with more kindness, but it's a two way street, Anon.

Agree with all your comments here, anon above

People's reluctance to voice their various concerns re. the meme has demonstrated that this meme is *not* an unkind place.

I think it's important to note that if we're going to be bashed for (finally) speaking up: if you read through every comment thread regarding the recent concerns somebody had said that they feel guilty for doing so, or that they'd been stressing out/upset for days before speaking out (even to the point of physically shaking). I know the point of the anon who has now left the conversation was that we spoke up too harshly but after finely combing through the worst I can find is that the prompter's ACTIONS were described as "annoying". Yes, perhaps a little harsh but the internet can be a much fouler place.

The happiness of one person should not not be put above the happiness of countless others, just because this person might (might, might, MIGHT) be in a bad place. A middle-ground should be politely sought after. As this has now been found I for one am happy with the outcome and hope that the serial-prompter will return in the next round but have a better understanding of how the meme best operates.

Different anon here, and as someone who has shipped rare pairs on various memes just from a stance of "I want to get my prompts filled", I've learned it's not a good strategy to blast the meme with 40 prompts of my rare pairs because I know it's making it much less likely fillers will stop and read and more likely people will scroll by because it's too much in one go.

Just speaking from experience, it's a better strategy to exercise moderation and save up your favourite prompts to intersperse through the meme, not to dump off in one big block. It's also just considerate to everyone else who is trying to get their prompts seen. It's like equivalent to wiping other people's stuff off the front page and replacing it with a whole page of what you want to see.

Not really sure what you're saying about discriminating against the disabled? This is common etiquette in every kink meme I've been a part of. It's just somewhat careless behaviour that naturally annoys people.

Agreed. If this was a super-active fandom with floods of daily activity from multiple users, that would be one thing -- but for a smallish fandom, where users are pretty much able to refresh the page each day and follow all the recent activity, having the meme suddenly flooded with a single person's agenda to the point of drowning out everyone else's voice is a bit much. It makes following threads and browsing prompts tedious, rather than exciting. If one person wanted to dump a bunch of prompts at once, at least be courteous enough not to take up literal PAGES of space -- keep in mind the number of existing prompts, and adjust your ratio accordingly.

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